Intimidation on the Job Site: How to Handle Bullying

Most of us have been intimidated, or let’s be honest, bullied, at some point. “Intimidation” is just the grown-up word we use to avoid calling it what it really is. Plain old bullying.

When I was a pre-teen, I started developing faster than my classmates. Unfortunately, that made me a target. I was a 4'11" scrawny kid with DD-sized boobs, and everything you could imagine was thrown at me:

“Do you use toilet paper to make those?"

“Your family’s broke because you use all the Kleenex.”

I was called ugly, mocked daily, and, worst of all, frequently physically assaulted. In the ‘80s, it was brushed off as “boys being boys” when they grabbed at me to “see if they were real.”

Eventually, just before I left middle school, I managed to get a principal to finally listen. I learned how to deal with school bullies, and my grades improved; high school became significantly easier.

So, when I got into the trades, I figured I had this bully-handling thing down. I was quick-witted, confident, and experienced.

Spoiler alert: It didn’t work the same way.

Adult Bullies Are Sneakier—and Sometimes More Dangerous

What we don't get warned about is how those childhood bullies grow up. Many become subtle manipulators, narcissists who gaslight, control, and quietly break others down. On the jobsite, they hide behind a façade of professionalism or a “tough culture,” making you feel like this is just the way it is.

While men are the most common intimidators on job sites, let’s not pretend women are always supportive either. Sometimes, we get targeted by other women, often out of jealousy or a desperate attempt to "fit in" with the guys. Either way, bullying and intimidation are unacceptable, no matter who it comes from.

What Intimidation Looks Like on the Job

Some signs are loud and obvious. Others are silent and strategic. Here are just a few ways intimidation shows up on the jobsite:

• Shouting or rage directed at you

• Verbal abuse, cursing, or body shaming

• Being regularly blamed for things outside your control

• Humiliation in front of others

• Having your work, voice, or contributions ignored

• Being passed over for promotions despite qualifications

• Threats of being fired or demoted

• Being given impossible deadlines or workloads

• Inappropriate touching or comments

• Cornering you where others can’t see

• Subtle intimidation via text or email

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Sound familiar? You’re not alone. (Feel free to share your story in the comments; you never know, I might use it in a future post.)

How to Handle Intimidation and Bullying Like a Pro

Let’s be real:

As women, we’re built differently, physically and emotionally, and one of the worst things we can do is let our emotions take over in the heat of a confrontation.

Not gonna lie, staying calm when someone is shouting, mocking, or touching you inappropriately is HARD. But trust me: that’s exactly what they want. They want you to blow up, to scream, to cry, so they can paint you as the problem and stroke their own ego.

Here’s the trick:

Stay composed, but don’t stay silent.

You absolutely should respond when someone crosses the line. But do it with dignity and confidence. Here are a couple of my favorite comebacks:

• “How do you feel when you say that out loud?”

  
  

• “Wow. I’m honestly surprised you said that where people could hear you.”

  
  

These short statements turn the shame back onto them. You don’t lose your cool, and they lose their power. Want more? I’ve got a million of these. Let me know if there’s a specific insult you want a comeback for.

Documentation = Power

If you take nothing else from this post, remember this: document everything.

• Write down the date, time, location, what was said or done, and who witnessed it.

• If there’s a pattern, make note of it.

• If the bullying is severe or escalating, don’t hesitate to record interactions, especially if it’s getting physical or threatening.

• Save all emails or texts. Screenshot messages if needed.

  
  

If you need to report it, you’ll need to check your company’s harassment and bullying policy and follow the procedure. Go to your supervisor, unless they are the problem, then go up the chain or straight to HR. If there’s retaliation (demotion, threats, etc.), get to know your state labor board’s resources and file a complaint if needed.

What If the Bully Gets “Talked To”?

If the issue is resolved, that would be great. But don’t expect an overnight change. Bullies don’t break habits easily. If they are trying to change, give it time. If they’re not, and the environment becomes unbearable, know this: you're not weak for walking away. You are wise for protecting your mental health and career.

Bullying doesn’t stop just because we grow up. But we do get stronger, smarter, and more equipped to handle it.

You do not have to put up with intimidation just to work in this industry. Respect on the jobsite isn’t earned by suffering—it’s earned by standing tall, doing your job, and refusing to shrink for anyone else’s ego.

Let’s lift each other up. Tell your story. Share your strength. Ask for help if you need it. You belong here. And no one gets to take that away from you.

—💬 Have a story or question about jobsite bullying? Drop it in the comments. Want a custom comeback to something someone said to you? I’ve got you—just

ask.

#TexasBricklady #WomenInTrades #StandTall #JobsiteJustice #YouBelongHere