The Communication Game: Why Two Sets of Eyes (and Ears) Can Save a Bid

Bidding for a job isn’t just about numbers, materials, or even expertise. It’s a communication game—and if you’ve been in the trades long enough, you know that game can get messy fast.

Clients come with their own personalities, concerns, and ways of asking questions. Contractors show up with experience, instincts, and sometimes…a little bit of sensitivity about being second-guessed. Put all that together in an old building with sagging beams and failing mortar, and you’ve got a recipe for misunderstandings.

That’s why I always say: When you bid a job, don’t go alone. Take a second person with you.

Here’s a perfect example of why.

A Historic Building, a Curious Owner, and a Near-Miss

Recently, my husband and business partner, Pete, went to look at a historic building a couple had purchased and were starting to repair. Beautiful structure. Terrible shape. Exactly the kind of challenge that gets seasoned masons like Pete fired up.

The couple was lovely; he was the quiet, thoughtful type, and she was the excited, bubbly Australian who had about twenty questions before Pete even finished his first sentence.

As Pete started reading the building (his superpower, truly), she leaned in with:

• “Why would you do that?”

• “Are you 100% sure?”

• “How would that work?”

  
  

Perfectly reasonable questions… unless you’re a contractor who’s been burned by know-it-all homeowners armed with Google and YouTube.

I saw it instantly. She asked a question → Pete interpreted it as a challenge → he drifted as far away from us as possible to go inspect the other side of the building.

Classic Pete. Classic contractor move, honestly.

But here’s the thing: I didn’t get the “Google Warrior” vibe from her at all.

I got curiosity. I got excitement. I got someone who knew her current GC was out of his league and was eager, relieved, even, to finally talk to someone who understood historic structures.

She reminded me a little of myself, honestly.

Same Conversation, Two Completely Different Interpretations

While she and I chatted, I could feel how genuinely fascinated she was. This wasn’t challenge. This was enthusiasm.

But Pete? He was convinced she was overbearing and questioning his expertise.

That misunderstanding was sharp enough that if he had gone on that bid alone, he would’ve turned around, thanked her politely, and mentally crossed the project off the list.

All because of tone. All because of personality style. All because of the silent filters we don’t realize we carry with us.

When we got back to the truck, I told him what I saw. Once he understood that her questions were sincere curiosity—not backseat masonry—his entire tone shifted. The job he almost dismissed immediately became the project he’s now fully energized to bid.

And I can’t help but think how close he came to walking away from a job that will challenge him creatively and use every ounce of his historic restoration knowledge.

Why Two People Can Make Communication Better

People hear and interpret things differently. Personality clashes, communication styles, and even gender dynamics—yes, even the unintentional ones—can create misunderstandings faster than you can say “historic mortar analysis.”

Bringing a partner, coworker, or team member to a bid doesn’t mean you don’t know what you’re doing.

It means you’re smart.

You’re giving yourself:

• A second set of ears to catch the tone and intention you might miss

• A second set of eyes to observe the body language you turned away from

• A second perspective on the client dynamic

• A buffer for accidental biases, assumptions, or misreads

• A teammate to help clarify, communicate, and build trust with the client

You’re not just assessing a structure, you’re assessing the relationship you’ll be entering if you take the job.

Don’t Go It Alone

Miscommunications don’t make you unprofessional. They make you human.

And when you’re bidding work, especially complicated, sensitive, or historic projects, you owe it to yourself to get the full picture.

Bring someone with you. Let them read the room while you read the building. Compare notes. Talk through impressions.

You might just save yourself from walking away from the perfect job…or from walking into the wrong one.

This isn’t just business advice; it’s part of mastering The Communication Game.